Why a High Conflict Divorce in North Carolina is Easier Than You Think

By its very definition, a high-conflict divorce in North Carolina might sound like an incredibly difficult process. While some couples can simply accept their differences and move on with their lives in an amicable manner, it is not so easy for many spouses. Ending a relationship can be an emotionally draining process, and these strong emotions can lead to unpredictable behavior and serious conflicts between spouses. In North Carolina, it takes longer to obtain a divorce compared to many other states. For couples dealing with a high conflict divorce, this often means that the stress and drama associated with their separation drag on for a long period of time.

That being said, a high conflict divorce does not have to be a source of despair and frustration. There are many things you can do to make this process more manageable, and one of the best solutions is to simply enlist the help of a qualified, experienced attorney. Choose a divorce lawyer who focuses on high conflict divorces, and you can employ a range of effective strategies to help you deal with this difficult situation. Our skilled divorce lawyers can make sure that your high conflict divorce is not more stressful than it needs to be.

Mentalhelp.net defines a high-conflict divorce as a situation “where marriage ends and war begins.” Although that might seem a little over-the-top, many spouses who have gone through this process can attest to its accuracy. In this situation, spouses fight over many aspects of their divorce. A common point of contention is child custody, and both spouses may try everything in their power to continue playing a central role in their child’s life. On the other hand, a high conflict divorce may involve numerous points of contention. It can even arise from seemingly pointless factors, such as who gets possession of a car.

Spouses may act in a combative manner for a number of reasons. Some may be motivated by genuine concerns about child custody or the division of property. Others may simply act for emotional reasons. These spouses may feel insulted or enraged by the fact that their spouse wants to end the marriage, and they may act in a vindictive manner as a result. Some spouses may intentionally prolong and complicate the divorce process because they do not want the relationship to “officially” end. These cases often end up going to trial, further lengthening and complicating the process. In many situations, combative spouses are unlikely to cooperate when it comes to mediation or a separation agreement.

One of the most frustrating things about dealing with a high conflict divorce in North Carolina is the mandatory one-year waiting period that couples must go through before proceeding with their divorce. Couples must live apart for at least 12 months before they can officially file for divorce. This means that a high conflict divorce can seem like it is dragging on for a long period of time.

With all that said, things are changing behind the scenes in North Carolina. New legislation is being introduced in the Senate that would shorten this period to just six months. In addition, couples without children would have the ability to waive the waiting period altogether. Further bills would even allow couples to live in the same household for financial reasons during this waiting period. Of course, things move slowly when it comes to new laws, and these new introductions do not have widespread support as of right now.

There are a number of things you can do to make life easier if you are going through a high conflict divorce, whether you are in the middle of the trial process or you are still stuck in the one-year waiting period:

• Use Their Actions Against Them: If your spouse is threatening you or acting in a wild, unpredictable manner, make sure you have evidence of their actions. You may be able to use this evidence against them in court, placing doubt on their legitimacy.
• Get a Restraining Order: Always prioritize your safety. If you are genuinely concerned about your safety because of an abusive or manipulative former spouse, you can always obtain a restraining order.
• Disengage: As difficult as it may seem, it is probably a good idea to approach this situation in an emotionally detached manner. Disengage from the drama, and try to remain calm and efficient. This is the best way to achieve genuine results in a high conflict divorce.

If you are concerned about this issue, it helps to have the assistance of a qualified, experienced legal team. Reach out to Arnold & Smith, PLLC by calling 704-370-2828, and you can approach your high conflict divorce with a sense of efficiency and confidence. We have considerable experience with high conflict divorces, and we can employ a number of effective strategies to help make this process more manageable. If you would like to learn more about how you can make your high conflict divorce less stressful reach out today. We have three convenient offices located in Mecklenburg County, Iredell County and Union County. Contact us at 704.370.2828.