How Social Media and Text Messages Can Impact Your Divorce in North Carolina: What to Avoid and How to Protect Yourself

In April of 2023, a woman in North Carolina went viral when she burned her wedding dress on social media after getting divorced. The striking imagery sent shockwaves around the internet, and she received a mixed response. The woman insisted that it “wasn’t about revenge” and that she simply wanted to symbolize the fact that she had “survived divorce.” But while she certainly caused quite a stir with her video, the woman certainly did not encounter any legal issues after posting the video. The same cannot be said for all activities on social media by recently divorced spouses. The truth is that there are many ways in which spouses can get themselves into serious trouble by posting content on social media during or after their divorces. It makes sense to steer clear of these legal issues if possible, and the first step is to become aware of the potential consequences. So, what exactly could go wrong if you post the wrong content on social media during this period? What kinds of content should you avoid posting?

Text messages can certainly affect your divorce in North Carolina. A text message might take only a few seconds to write and send, but it might change your life for many years to come. The specific effects of a text message depend on your unique circumstances, but they generally have the power to affect property division, child custody, and much more. Whether you have sent problematic text messages or you have collected evidence of texts sent by your ex, it makes sense to discuss this subject further alongside your divorce lawyer in North Carolina.

Text messages may be challenging to obtain, but your lawyer can help you track them down. First of all, you should know that not all messaging platforms are the same. Some platforms automatically “self-delete” messages in a way that makes them almost impossible to retrieve. Many platforms refer to this as “vanish mode” texting, and this is also an example of “ephemeral content.” Generally speaking, any data that self-deletes after a set period of time is “ephemeral.”

Some platforms specifically market themselves as being secure, and these companies may refuse to share text data with third parties. Examples include Signal, Telegram, and others. If your ex was attempting to conceal certain information, they may have specifically chosen these platforms to “hide their tracks.” Alternatively, your ex may have texted under a fake profile. Forum posts are similar to texts, and your ex likely posted under a pseudonym if they frequented a specific web forum.

If you stumble upon texts made by your ex or one of their suspected pseudonyms, the best strategy is to take a screenshot immediately. Do not assume that you can access this data later. It may self-delete after a few hours, or your ex could manually delete the data.

Your lawyer may be able to help you access text records during the pre-trial “discovery” phase of divorce litigation. During this phase, each spouse must share any relevant documents – and this might include texting history. If they refuse to share this information, they may face legal consequences for concealing information. You can even subpoena the records from companies that hold the data. If you are seeking access to SMS texts, you could subpoena the records from the relevant telecommunications company. These mainstream companies have a track record of cooperating in various legal procedures.

Text messages may help in a number of different ways. First of all, text messages might indicate that your ex is concealing assets. These texts might speak of hidden cryptocurrency wallets, offshore accounts, and similar issues. Many crypto and investment enthusiasts and investors like to speak openly about their profits with others. They may make these statements on forums, social media platforms, and many other digital spaces. If you can track down your spouse’s profiles or aliases, you might find evidence of concealed assets.

Text messages might also provide evidence of marital misconduct. Perhaps the most obvious example of marital misconduct is adultery. If you use text messages to prove the existence of an extramarital affair, you may experience various advantages during divorce. For example, your ex might lose access to alimony.

Your ex might also make various admissions of guilt in text messages. For example, they might speak about drug or alcohol abuse with their friends. They might admit to driving drunk on several occasions. They might even admit to acts of domestic violence. All of these admissions can help you pursue various advantages during divorce. Perhaps most notably, text message evidence of misconduct can help you retain primary custody of your children. This may ensure a safe, happy environment for your children after divorce.

At the end of the day, it is difficult to determine how text messages will affect your divorce until you actually read them. With help from a lawyer, you may be able to gain access to this “treasure trove” of information.

It is never a good idea to bad-mouth your ex on social media. In fact, you should avoid insulting your ex in all forms of public speech – whether you are writing an email, speaking to a crowd of people, or chatting with work colleagues. While it is fine to confide your feelings in people you trust, these kinds of comments can come back to haunt you during the divorce process.

The truth is that if you insult your ex publicly, they may be able to use this against you during your custody battle. One of the things that family courts consider is whether you can cooperate effectively with your ex. They may also consider whether you have engaged in “parental alienation,” which is the act of turning your children against your ex.

The problem with ranting on social media is that all of these comments can easily be used against you in court. Your ex can screenshot the posts and quickly provide them to their lawyer. These screenshots and other forms of digital evidence can be presented in court.

You should also avoid posts that show you destroying or “wasting” marital property. Going back to our earlier example, the woman who burned her wedding dress had completed her divorce – and she owned the wedding dress. But what if she had burned something else, like a family heirloom that belonged to her ex? What if she had burned her ex’s baseball card collection? In this case, she would be guilty of dissipation or destruction of marital assets – a serious form of financial misconduct.

The same general logic applies to the “wasting” of marital assets. This might include social media posts that show off frivolous purchases, such as designer clothing or sports cars. If you are using marital funds to make these purchases, you might find yourself facing serious legal issues. Another example is gambling away marital funds and posting videos of your exploits online.

Posting evidence of new relationships after the divorce is generally fine, but you may run into issues if you make these posts during the divorce process. Firstly, your new relationship may affect your child custody battle. Secondly, the posts may provide evidence that the relationship began before the date of separation. This may lead to accusations of adultery.

Finally, you should know that if you pursue a collaborative divorce and negotiate the terms of a divorce settlement outside of court, you may be subject to a non-disclosure agreement. This means that if you reveal the details of your divorce online, you could face serious penalties.

If you have been searching for a qualified divorce lawyer in North Carolina, look no further than Arnold & Smith, PLLC. Posting the wrong things on social media or mishandling text message evidence can significantly worsen your situation during a divorce. The good news is that with our help, you can avoid many of these issues and strive for the best possible outcomes. Over the years, we have assisted numerous divorcing spouses across the Tar Heel State, addressing issues related to social media posts and text messages. Whether you need to collect text message evidence or your spouse is attempting to use your texts against you, it is crucial to address these concerns quickly. Book your consultation today to get started with an effective action plan.