Before You Ask for That Divorce, Ask Yourself These Questions

People make the decision to get a divorce for many reasons. In some cases, the decision to divorce may build up for years and finally come to a head. In other cases, there may be one catastrophic or devastating event that pushes a person to file for divorce. Whatever the reason is that you are considering divorce, you likely already understand that divorce is not an easy or fun experience. Consider the following questions before you officially ask your spouse for a divorce.

Every person gets angry at some point in a marriage. There are different breaking points for every person. You may have felt angry or frustrated for years, or perhaps you just recently found out some devastating news that changes your perspective on your entire marriage. While every marriage will have ups and downs, there are sometimes circumstances that are insurmountable and unfortunately result in divorce. However, before you file for divorce and before you serve divorce paperwork on your spouse, take the time to make sure you are absolutely 100% certain that you want a divorce. In many cases visiting with a pastor or a counselor can help you make the decision that is best for you. Once you serve divorce papers on your spouse, there is a strong likelihood that any chance of reconciliation may be gone.

In many marriages, one spouse handles all of the finances. If this is the case in your marriage, take the time to investigate all of your bank accounts, checking accounts, savings accounts, safes, retirement accounts, safety deposit boxes, and any other assets that you may own as a couple. Unfortunately, in some circumstances, a spouse will discover that he or she was lied to about certain aspects of finances during this process. Whatever the case may be, take the time to create an inventory of your finances prior to asking for a divorce. Additionally, it is important to know that you should never spend any lavish amounts of money on expensive items prior to your divorce, as that can be seen by the court as depletion of marital assets.

Of course, you likely have thought about your children and how your divorce will affect them and their future. However, have you considered what your child custody and visitation schedule will be after you file divorce paperwork? in many cases, child visitation and child custody schedules need to be adopted quickly, as one spouse moves out of the marital home. Take the time to consider what your preferences are and what you think would be best for you and your children. It is important to note that the court will not necessarily grant your requests, as they always look to see what is in the best interest of the child.

You should take some time to consider where you will live both during the divorce process, as well as where you will live after the divorce. Do not make the assumption that you will get the marital home. In many cases, one spouse would like to keep the marital home but cannot afford to refinance the home individually in their name. Take time to understand what your financial position is and what you will be able to afford after divorce. Additionally, it is important to note that you should not leave the marital home if you have any interest in residing in it following the divorce. Leaving the marital home can be a detriment to a spouse in some cases. However, it is important to stress that if either you or your children are in any kind of danger, you should leave the marital home immediately, and contact the police or a local shelter for help and assistance.

One of the most important things that a spouse can do before asking for a divorce or serving divorce paperwork is visiting with an experienced divorce attorney. Visiting with an attorney can help ensure that your legal rights remain protected, and that you make the best possible decisions for you, for your finances, for your children, and for your future. Before you serve paperwork on your spouse, contact an experienced divorce lawyer at Arnold & Smith, PLLC in Charlotte, North Carolina at 704.370.2828. We can help you understand your legal rights. Contact us by phone or online today for your initial consultation.