Divorce is never a welcomed event in anyone’s life. In most cases, even those spouses that truly want a divorce know that the divorce process means that an old dream is ending. While there may be resentment, anger, frustration, and fear, there is an end to this process, and a new life waiting for you. The divorce process can be overwhelming and stressful. You may feel that your life was wrapped up in a role that you no longer have and wonder how you will define yourself in the future. You may wonder who you are now that you are no longer a spouse to your ex. You may have even lost family members or friends who took sides during this process. However, following a divorce, many people should take the time to seriously consider who they are outside the role of a spouse in a marriage. While it may be difficult, and even painful at times, it is important to ensure that the next steps of your life include who you truly want to be and the healthiest version of yourself.
Honor Your PastMake sure that you take time to recognize that your marriage was important and defined what might have been a substantial portion of your life. You should never act as if your marriage never happened and was not an important part of your life. However, as things end, there are always new beginnings. Take some time to contemplate the life that you used to have, the life you thought you would have in the future, and how that future has changed. In many ways, you must mourn and grieve your past. There are many options available to you for counseling through the grief process. Many people who go through a divorce discover that they need to resolve some lingering issues they have regarding their marriage and their divorce before they can move forward with confidence. Consider how a counselor may be able to help you through this tough time of grief and discovery.
Spend Time AlonePerhaps after you have gone through a divorce, the last thing you want to do is spend time alone. There may be a temptation to rush back out into the world. In some cases, this temptation is simply a distraction from actually processing the difficult emotions that have cropped up during the divorce process. You should always have a strong support system during this time, but it is also important to spend time alone in order to determine how you want your future to look. Many people attempt to avoid processing what has happened to them by either becoming a workaholic, or spending every night out with family and friends. The transition from married life to single life can be difficult, and you should respect yourself enough to give yourself time and space to determine how you want your single life to take shape. Think about who you have been, and more importantly, who you want to become. While it may be devastating to you that your marriage ended, this new chapter can allow you to embrace opportunities that were previously impossible.
Think of New GoalsWhile you are spending time alone and perhaps even grieving the past, at some point, you will start to feel refreshed and begin to think of new goals. This is an important part of the transition as it will help you have encouraging optimistic perspectives on your future. Some examples of new goals could be whether or not you would like to do missionary work, eat better, get healthy, run a 10K, learn a new language, focus on your finances and save money, learn new skills, start traveling more, or take up a new hobby.
Contact a Family Law AttorneyYou may still be in the beginning stages of considering a divorce. The idea of starting a new life with new goals and new dreams may seem far in the distance for you. If you are considering a divorce, you likely feel overwhelmed with all of the decisions you have to make and ensure about what steps are ahead of you. Contact an experienced divorce lawyer at Arnold & Smith, PLLC in Monroe, North Carolina at 704.370.2828. We can help you with your divorce.